I am sure you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been fairly quiet the past several months. The reason was ––– TIME. I had no enough time to work on my blog nor finish my novel because of my job. It is easy to write when the mood takes me and on the subjects that come to mind, that I feel are important. But, when I am tired, I couldn’t focus to think about anything. But God is truly amazing that he answered my prayer. He gave me the freedom that I wanted!
To my 668 readers, now that I am back. I have something super special to tell you. I’ve got a TON of extremely helpful topics that I’ll be sharing to you over the next several days. I am very much thankful for allowing me to help you gain a little perspective on some topics. I guess, this is what the best thing about a generalist blogger ––– to write on a wide variety of subjects.
This week is the beginning of something super special and I am pretty dang excited about it. I just moved in my new place and it made me busy in organizing my stuff, cleaning my little house and doing some shopping! You heard me right –––Shopping! What makes me so excited was the idea of doing this little shopping while others drives them mad so they do it on the internet which is a great relief for them. I couldn’t blame them because it’s time-saving and at present, we want to save as much time as possible.
So last Sunday with my large rucksack and two spare plastic bags, I went out and looked for the nearest supermarket and it took me 30 minutes to get there. I am thankful for the locals in the neighbourhood for helping me locate the mercado. I was pretty confident that I could get there without getting any help but my over-confidence fails me this time. Well, I guess, even though I want to be on my own ( which is the reason why I wanted to have my own space) I’d still need to ask help from other people. It reminded me of one of my favorite poems of John Donne “No Man is an Island”. Thankful to sister Cathy Lobo, my teacher in English Literature that I can still remember the poem because we’ve made it into a song. We’ve got a beautiful melody that perfectly fits the poem.
Like John Donne says, No one is self-sufficient; Everyone relies on others. That no one can accomplish anything without his fellows. It helped me realized that in spite of the fact that I am physically and emotionally strong, able to do hard work and to deal with harsh conditions; when everything else fails, I’ll be needing help from other people. I am so grateful to all of my friends here, in some ways, helped me see my potential. Though it is impossible, you are still there supporting me. I don’t think I could have done this all without you guys. Muito obrigada!
Some people believe that accepting help from others makes them weak. Thus, they consider it as a failure on their part. Sometimes, we disregard the fact that we are just human beings who need to cooperate with one another in order to thrive. I admit, I felt that way. When I wanted to seek help from other people but there was the fear of rejection and judgement and I’m too wimpy to express myself as well. Then I realized that I needed to voice out what’s on my mind. That whether I like it or not, I needed to learn not to internalize judgements or rejections inflicted on me and it helped me to accept myself by recognizing my strengths and weaknesses. I remember when I was in Denmark, I asked help from my host dad to help me pay for the cake that I ordered in Fulham cake company for Simon’s birthday using my card and that was September 2015. Before asking help from him, I’ve done my best to do it on my own. However, it will be my first time to do wire transfer to another EU country, and for this reason, I went straight to my host dad and asked his help about that matter. Though I knew that he might going to judge me about it, I still did not care about what he might think. He tried for almost an hour but he failed. But, I appreciated what he have done for me though I knew that he has a lot of questions to asked about this english guy whom I was gonna spend 110£ (including the bank charges) just for a birthday cake but he made an effort to do it. I am also very much thankful to Sarah Jones of Fulham cake company who coordinated with The Chelsea Cake company just to carry out my plan but it has failed. I’d make it sure that I would visit their bakeshop in the UK.
Moving on, when I was already in the supermarket. I felt like everyone is looking at me. It’s not that “Dang! You’re hot!” Kind of stare that a very attractive woman may get, It’s more like that “Wow! You’re weird” kind of stare. It was maybe because I am new in this place. I am trying not to feel weird about it or the answer is in my question, It’s just a feeling!
Because I already have my own place and I am just so excited to fill-up my fridge, I spent an hour wandering the store checking on the good deals and thinking what I feel like eating before deciding what food to get. So lesson for me; Make a grocery list before shopping, get the items on my list and get out! I need to learn more about budgeting to help me afford living on my own. Honestly, it is my first time to organize and keep my receipts especially the ones from the supermarket. It would help me track my expenses effectively. This is one of the things that I want to do before turning 30 —to get my own place and start paying my own bills. Even if I am just earning a low income, I do not have to give up doing what I want. I won’t let my income keep me from living alone. For those who wonder why I have my own place, it was because I’m obsessed with my space and alone time so i could have time to do my writings. So, currently I’ve quit my job. Don’t you worry guys, I’ve got a new job in two weeks so let us say..It is just my holiday!!! I am thankful for all the help and the things that I’ve learned from my previous job. I would like to share more but I’ll save that for a different blog post. Hope to see you there too.
Xoxo Jona4463
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FORTY FOUR SIXTY THREE 